I have a few friends who are struggling with their lives, some with food, some with alcohol and other substances, and some with self-image. I ask people to reach out to me if I can help them, and many have reached out to me because I have struggled with these things in the past, and while I continue to struggle as we all do, I do not struggle with those particular issues anymore. I have an escape plan for them, and maybe for you too.
I give lots of advice about what to consume and not consume, how to treat one’s self and not treat one’s self, and I usually prescribe meditation as a key practice that may help them with the side effects of her other choices, such as a chaotic mind, trouble making decisions, self-destructive behavior, and living and making decisions based on the past or the future, rather than the present. It certainly helps me.
The only issue is that meditation can be practiced using a billion techniques, and each has its varying opinions about the practice. I have read extensively on the subject, interviewed meditators, and settled into my practice that works best for me after a lot of experimentation.
I tend to take a simple approach to things when I can, and my meditation practice is no different. I practice a few different forms, but I am going to focus of breathing meditation here. In order to dip a toe into the pool of meditative practice, this one is fairly easy to try:
- Find 15 minutes of time (with a minute or two of preparation time) that you are likely uninterrupted. Early in the morning, late at night, or at lunch may work best.
- Find a quiet place, free of distractions, visual reminders of life, sounds, and other sensations that are likely to tempt you. A private bathroom in a low traffic area is an example, but a quiet seat in a park works too.
- However possible, turn off or remove the lights, sounds, buzzers, alarms, reminders, clothes, and anything else that may distract you. An exception to this is to use a simple kitchen timer, set to 15 minutes.
- Inhale slowly, exhale slowly. Deep breaths. Count 1 for each inhale and exhale set that you complete. Count 2 for the next, count 3 for the next, count 4 for the next. Start over and count 1-4 for each complete breath until the 15 minute timer goes off. You may count to 4 hundreds of times.
- Distraction is part of the exercise. Notice distractions, then dismiss them. You will think about your problems, you will come to solutions about your plumbing, you will drift. Each time this happens, remember your breath, and counting, and refocus. This is not the time to solve problems, it is your time to notice your breathing.
For this 15 minutes each day your breath, and the numbers, are your only thought. You are strengthening your mind in the same way that repetitive exercises strengthen your muscles. Early on, it may seem an incredible amount of effort to stay on task, but as with exercise, it gets easier with time, practice, and results.
Meditation is not about judgement, religion, diversity, enlightenment, or magic. It need not be mystical, scary, or difficult. You need not wear robes or burn incense as you do it. You need not be in any special place to do it. It is about you, your focus, your practice, and your health. If I can help you to get started, please reach out.
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Hi Lemasny, yuo made an important point in the last sentence. Too many people think that meditation is religious or spiritual when it isnt at all, it’s just a healthy exercise for the mind. http://arolemodel.com/breathing-meditation-techniques-to-help-find-happiness-in-life/
Thanks for the confirmation, Paul!