I had my 39th birthday yesterday. It was a very good one.
I’m on my way to physio-mental health. Evidence of the physical part is above, but let me explain the physio-mental part here.
In the time between March 2011 and March 2012, a lot happened. I had several overlapping personal crises, not resolved or resolving:
I had cataracts last year. I had surgery to remove them. Towards the end of my time with these protein deposits in my eyes, unofficially associated with smoking and drinking, and seldom seen before old age, I was driving, working, and doing all the things that I normally do, but I should not have been. It was nearly impossible to read, a major part of my work as a technologist. I almost hit a police officer who was directing traffic during church services in a spot I did not expect. He had lights flashing, an orange vest, and a lit flashlight. It was broad daylight. He screamed at me. I was lucky not to lose my license, but I probably should have. I had to fight and argue that my cataracts were bad enough to call for the surgery. My belief is that the healthcare system in this country is self-serving and broken. I also induced a concussion falling down the stairs my first week I was at my job at Princeton, which I had just begun, at the beginning of March. I could not see the steps. Removing the cataracts was one of the most rewarding and freeing life experiences I’ve ever had. I will never, ever, again be inconsiderate to those suffering with visual issues.
I separated from my wife and ended a marriage of 12 years. Mostly due to my drinking, and the perspective that drinking to excess provided me. I won’t say much else here but that I am happy now; I’m on the road to recovery with my children, Jack and David. They are my life, and I will do everything in my power to give them my life back.
I stopped drinking. After a 6 year run of binge drinking almost every night, after having sobriety between the ages of 19 and 33, I am 9 weeks clean of alcohol. I will help anyone who wants to do this, because I feel that personally, it was the key to the rest of these issues manifesting. For me personally, alcohol is a poison, slow killing, and painfully life debilitating. Others are able to live with it, but all it ever brought me was sadness, change to the negative, and a veiled view of living. Never again, I hope and work for, every day.
I moved out of my house into a studio apartment. I will be paying for both the house and the apartment for the foreseeable future.
I regained almost all of my lost weight from a 100+ pound loss (305 to 195) that I had at the age of 36, mostly due to the perspective and lackadaisical attitude provided by abuse of drinking. After quitting drinking, I’ve lost 39 pounds, from 295 lbs down to 256 pounds as of the time of this post. I plan to reach 200 pounds again as a goal with exercise, nutritional sense, and support.
Other things have happened, but none I’m ready to share here, but stay tuned, you never know.
So, things are looking up. I’m better for surviving the crises, and on my way to recovery. Thanks for your support in that.
